Consequence of anxiety
My oldest child, a boy named ashur, was born a few weeks early- due to some anxiety of labour and delivery!! We were induced due to some complicating symptoms, which only spiralled into a further concern!!!!, "Tara are you sure your having a contraction, there never going away"! Gosh mom good question!!! I sure wished I knew what the hell else was robbing so much of my body's freedom of a pain free experience!!! A full days work of back to back labour pain, until I Finally gave up! That evening we returned back to find a problem titled "stacked contractions" causing our little boy further fetal distress! They removed the induction product to let the uterus buy a break, and give this little baby a bit of down time to recover! The labour only continued long into the night until the call was cleared to perform a cessarian, dilated at 10 for 4 hours with no sign of him making any move toward my passage to escape! ashur was born 0122 dec 8th, weighing in at 9lb 14oz! "Big fat baby syndrome" is how the pediatrics team described him! Ashur has grown into a healthy six year old boy, with intermittent anxiety! Over the course of his existence we have sure learned a ton about the challenges of parenting!!! We recently signed up to take a class that was focused for parents of a child/ children with anxiety! One of the key take home messages I received this past go was when your dealing in the moment of an anxiety struggle make consequences for anxiety!! say what?! Make consequence for the anxiety?! That sounds as thou only a therapist could solute to this!!!!! Consequences I understand!!!!! Maybe not.......... a consequent thou seems super easy in the moment!!!!! Or does it?! If your anything like me, you get overwhelmed and flustered in a heated anxiety outbreak! Empty threats can easily roll out of your mouth- sorta sounding like this "IF YOU DONT GET YOUR ASS OVER THERE YOUR NOT GOING TO HOCKEY THIS wEEK!" Oh boy, what the hell did I just say?! Oh I took away the only time my son does well in a social setting! Oops Bad mom move! Instead, turn the consequent in towards the anxiety, and try a bit of an alternate approach! "As a result, if you can't work through this anxiety the anxiety will consequently hold you back from enjoying the fun and excitement the birthday social will bring for you!" There it is, a brilliant consequent! In other words, don't consequent anything you value as important, but consequent the anxiety, not the mom!
